What I did: Please bear in mind that I’ll probably be a lifelong wash-and-go girl. So I conditioned my hair in the shower, rinsed it all out, then followed with a nickel-sized amount of Giovanni Direct Leave-in Conditioner. I put the gel in my palm and raked it through my hair (about a coin and a half’s worth size for reference), also scrunched my hair. Had slight stiffness as it dried, as is the case with many gels, but of course you can scrunch this out later after it dries. Later in the day, hair was super soft. Smell is pleasant—not overly strong. I had no flaking. Good product for a good price. I have to experiment more to see if it gives me 2nd day hair, 3rd day hair, etc. If it doesn’t, however, I can’t complain too much because it was a really small investment, money-wise! The pic below shows my results.

Cons: If you’re a stickler for all organic or “all natural” products for your hair, this won’t cut it (but most hair products at this price wouldn’t be organic anyway). Also, if you have a “no parabens” rule for your cosmetics, then this won’t be a good product for you, as it does have methylparaben.

To read about my decision to embrace my hair’s natural texture, please click here to read “A Curly Girl’s Homecoming.”

My hair-- in this pic styled mainly with Nutra Curl gel

Ingredient list for L.A. Looks Absolute Styling Nutra Curl gel: Aqua (WATER), PVP, Polyquaternium-11, Carbomer, Panthenyl ethyl ether, Phenoxyethanol, Aminomethyl propanol, PEG-40 hydrogenated castor oil, PPG-5-Ceteth-20, Methylparaben, Propylene glycol, Disodium EDTA, Benzophenone-4, Methylisothiazolinone, Parfum (FRAGRANCE), Limonene, Geraniol, BHT, Citral, Hydroxycitronellal, Linalool, Citronellol

The brand recommends that before you use its styling products, you cleanse your scalp with their shampoo, Kinky-Curly Come Clean Shampoo. The label describes it as a moisturizing shampoo that is gentle enough for everyday use. It has good ingredients–no sulfates, parabens, etc if that’s important to you (I’ve included the ingredient list at the bottom of this post). It leaves your scalp and strands feeling squeaky clean. It has a nice light citrus scent; it does lather. And for an organic shampoo, it’s pretty easy to find if you don’t want to buy it online—Whole Foods and Target carry it. I originally bought this shampoo because the Kinky Curly brand claims that its main styling product, the Curling Custard, won’t work if there is any build-up of other products on your hair. The shampoo does a great job of removing build-up.

How I use it: I actually use Kinky-Curly Come Clean as a clarifying shampoo, even though it’s not labeled as such. I use it every couple of weeks, or sometimes before trying a brand new hair product for the first time. I would not use it every day; I find it way too stripping for that, especially since I don’t shampoo my hair anymore. At around $12 for an 8-ounce bottle, it’s not the cheapest shampoo around, but it’s lasted me about half a year, and I still have a fair amount left, so I don’t have a problem with the price. If you are someone who shampoos your hair daily or very often, it won’t last you as long as it’s lasted me, but I’d still make a safe bet that it will last you longer than other shampoos because a little goes a long way.

My bottom line: This is a mostly all-natural lathering shampoo that effectively removes build-up from the scalp and hair. If you’re curly or kinky, I recommend you use it sparingly (i.e. NOT every day), as it will remove everything from your scalp and strands; an excellent shampoo for making your hair squeaky clean, but it does not moisturize.

**Ingredient list for Kinky-Curly Come Clean Shampoo: purified water, organic mandarin orange fruit, organic marigold flower, organic white willow bark, organic sea kelp, c14-16 olefin, sulfonate and cocamidopropyl betaine (coconut derived), phytic acid, citric acid, sea salt, phenoxyethanol, natural fragrance

To read about my decision to embrace my hair’s natural texture, please click here to read my post “A Curly Girl’s Homecoming.”

I love the compact size of it. When I hold it vertically, I can type on its keyboard with my thumbs, as though I’m texting on my phone. The keyboard is comfy horizontally too. I like e-mailing from the device. Movies and videos run smoothly on my Netflix app and on YouTube. Angry Birds, Bejeweled, Stupid Zombies, and a slew of other games run well, much to the delight of my nephew. The speakers have good sound. Unfortunately, there is no external volume button on this device; the volume can only be raised and lowered on the touch screen. Once you touch the settings icon, the volume bar becomes visible, but I feel a physical volume button would be best. I listen to enough loud music on headphones to know that a physical button can mean the difference between immediate relief to your eardrums and deafening noise.

I love reading magazines on the Kindle Fire. Between my husband and me, we’ve accumulated many magazines, and that’s not the best thing when you live in a two-bedroom condo. So far, the ones I read regularly–O the Oprah Magazine, Saveur, and Food & Wine among many others– are all available on the Kindle Fire, and they look gorgeous on its screen, so I’ll be switching to digital subscriptions for all my magazine reading.

Books look good on the Kindle Fire too, but I still prefer my old Kindle for full-on reading. When I travel, I’ll only take the Kindle Fire with me because it serves multiple purposes. When I’m at home, however, I will still rely on my old Kindle for reading books. As a bibliophile with lots of books in her keeping, I was surprised by how easily I took to the Kindle years ago. I still find reading on a traditional Kindle to be the experience that most closely simulates reading the printed page. Although I only buy printed books on certain occasions these days (I try to read electronic books in order to prevent accumulating more objects around the house), reading a book–even on a machine– remains a quiet, sacred act for me. I was reading one of my books on my new Kindle Fire and I noticed some notifications on the upper left screen, letting me know that I had a few new emails, three new rounds on Words With Friends, and some tweets on my Twitter feed. I don’t care for such distractions while I’m reading. That said, it’s nice to have access to my books on a multi-function device because it’ll help cut down on the number of gadgets I take with me when I go places.

My nephew playing games on the Kindle Fire

Cookbooks, however, are another story. I never bought cookbooks on my old Kindle because pictures in recipes are important to me. I’ve looked at recipes from food magazines and cookbooks on the Kindle Fire, and they look perfect. I’ll be able to stop buying printed food magazines and most cookbooks, and refer to my electronic copies in my Amazon Cloud whenever I need. The Kindle Fire also displays illustrated children’s books beautifully.

The web browser is nicely integrated with my social media–from the page I’m reading, I can share from the bottom of the browser window, enabling me to email the link to the page, or share the link directly on Facebook or Twitter. I find that clicking from drop down menus can be difficult if the page is not zoomed in a bit, meaning I sometimes end up clicking on something just above or just below what I actually mean to click. This can be frustrating because a page I don’t need opens, and I have to get back to the previous page, etc. But I hope that as I use it more often, these types of errors will happen less frequently.

I didn’t get this device mainly for writing, but I love it so much already that I regret it didn’t come equipped with some type of basic notes/word-processing feature. Just simple word-processing, formatting not necessary. There is a QuickOffice suite on the device which enables me to read Office documents, but I can’t do any kind of editing. Ah well, I can rely on apps for that.

The biggest gripe I have with the Kindle Fire is a flip-side of what I love so much about it: it’s a very personal device–as soon as you turn it on out of the box, you sign in, and all of your personal Amazon content is there. And when I say it’s there, I mean it’s visible and there ain’t no hiding it, because whether you’ve chosen to download it to your device so that you can access it outside of WiFi, or whether you’ve only kept it in the Amazon Cloud, it’s still visible. This was a problem for me because I was eager to share my tablet with my relatives, most especially my 7-year-old nephew. Thanks to the Kindle Fire’s “bookcase” setup in which all of your apps, music, videos, and books are neatly displayed on a screen that resembles a bookshelf, there was no hiding my books on sexuality, some of which have diagrams and renderings and revealing book covers. On my old Kindle, I don’t see the covers of my books, and if I want to remove a particular item from the reader because I know I’m going to be passing around my Kindle, or showing it to children, I can archive the book and bring it back later. I don’t have any shame about what I read, but if I’m sharing my Kindle Fire with a child so that he can play Plants vs. Zombies, I don’t need him scrolling through my content and asking me about orgasms. I tried to delete my books from the device, but they remained on the Cloud, so they were basically still there. Because I spend a lot of time with my nephew on a daily basis, and as I want him to be able to play games on the Kindle Fire as well as read children’s books on the device, I ended up deleting any books that I didn’t want my nephew to encounter. They are permanently deleted from my Cloud, so if I want to read them again, I’d have to re-purchase them. Now that I know this is the case, I won’t be buying books on adult sexuality on my Kindle anymore unless Amazon comes up with a way for customers to personalize the appearance of their Cloud content.

I know there are a lot of people out there who complain that the Fire isn’t a content-creator, that it has only 8 gigs of memory, that it doesn’t have a camera, and worst of all, that it’s just a device to promote Amazon as a retailer. Well, the thing is, I have a laptop for content creation and it’s got roughly 600 gigs, I have two cameras for taking pictures, and I buy a LOT of my stuff on Amazon. Amazon could beef up this device with more bells and whistles to make it more like its competitors, but then the Fire would cost as much as its competitors too. At $199, the Kindle Fire comes in at a good price point for a great toy. And a nice toy is what these are, by the way, no matter what brand of tablet you buy. Make no mistake about it: people can bitch and moan and brag all they want that this tablet does this and that tablet does that, but in the end, the general public is using tablets to read, send email, play games, and chat with their friends. There’s nothing wrong with that.

Before you get angry and accuse me of being insensitive, let me say that I have the utmost respect and patience for pedestrians. You walk to get where you need to go? More power to you. I’ve spent plenty of extended periods of time in cities where I got around by foot or by bike. What I DON’T have patience for is jaywalking.  As defined by the Merriam-Webster dictionary, the verb ’jaywalk’ means ‘to cross a street carelessly or in an illegal manner so as to be endangered by traffic.’

The heavily used phrase ‘pedestrians have the right of way’ seems to have taken on a brand new meaning, something more along the lines of ’pedestrians have the right to walk wherever they want, whenever they want.’ As a responsible driver, I find that attitude unfair. In most accidents involving cars and pedestrians, the cars are almost always heavily penalized and fully blamed. But the fact remains that there are many irresponsible walkers out there. You come across them every day.

A person may jaywalk for various reasons. Maybe the busstop is halfway down the block, so he or she might dart into the middle of the road (often into oncoming greenlit traffic) to avoid having to walk all the way down to the intersection to cross the street properly. On a cynical-yet-undeniable note, there are people who do it because they have an utter disregard for rules and order. I’m also convinced that many people do it simply because they’re mentally unstable.

Some of the worst jaywalking offenders I see today are teenagers. Not that it’s totally their fault–this laziness and disregard for surroundings is virtually state-sanctioned. During the hours-long school speed zones that many cities have put in place near high schools, groups of teenagers around South Florida stroll through the streets at a snail’s pace, mostly at every spot other than the actual intersection. While driving slowly through these 15-mile-an-hour zones, I watch these kids as they meet up in the middle of the street, high-five each other in the middle of the street, hug each other in the middle of the street, shuffle songs on their iPods in the middle of the street, and tell each other jokes in the middle of the street.

Are you freakin’ kidding me? What happened to ‘look right, look left, and cross the intersection at a brisk pace?’ I knew how to do that by first grade! Today, thanks to these speed zones, adolescents who are plenty old enough to know and respect road safety rules now feel entitled to stroll leisurely across the street, maybe even pausing once or twice to pull their pants up (not exaggerating–I’ve hit the brakes a few times to avoid hitting Mr. Pants on the Ground). I frequently see young jaywalkers outside school speed zones now.

The most unacceptable jaywalking stunt? People crossing outside a crosswalk while they have kids in tow, or while pushing strollers. Endangering children in this manner is reckless. The most obnoxious jaywalking stunt? Running through the street outside a crosswalk dressed in black clothing from head to toe. At night.

I use the term jay-cycling to describe cyclists who commit the same offenses. Cyclists are supposed to follow almost all the same rules as drivers, but we all have seen a bike (or twenty) ignore these rules. On my daily drive to and from home, at least twice a day, I come across a cyclist who rides out against incoming traffic into the middle of the road. Reckless riding also takes on new heights in pedestrian cities where many cyclists work as couriers. I don’t know how many times I’ve had to slam on the brakes while driving through Washington DC to avoid hitting courier cyclists who are weaving through cars in traffic. Accidents involving bikes and cars are highly unfortunate, but if a cyclist decides to run his stop sign or his red light because he feels the rules of the road don’t apply to him, is it fair to pour all the blame and seething hatred on the car?

I’m a calm and conscientious driver. I rarely speed because I don’t think the hassle of an auto accident or the risk of bodily injury is worth it. I acknowledge that there are a LOT of bad drivers out there–aggressive drivers with road rage, dense drivers who probably never should have been awarded a driver license in the first place, and your run-of-the-mill douchebag driver who thinks his commute is an audition for a role in the next Fast and Furious flick. But there are rules for cars, rules for pedestrians and rules for cyclists; we all have to do our part.

Pros of jaywalking? It saves you walking a few steps. Cons of jaywalking? It’s dangerous; it’s inconsiderate; and frankly it’s stupid. After all, when it comes down to Human Body versus Two-Ton Vehicle, the human body doesn’t stand a chance. Drivers ought to take every precaution at all times. And walkers ought to be aware that when they cross the street outside the crosswalk, they take a big risk. Crosswalks exist for a reason.

So if you’re thinking about jaywalking across the street when I’m driving…please don’t. It’s not that I think I have any more of a right to be on the road than you do–it’s just that as the driver behind the wheel of a 3,500-pound wad of metal, I carry the unique obligation of being responsible for both my own safety AND yours. Let’s play fair now–I don’t run my red lights, so don’t run yours. That is all.

Photo credits:

Top photo: “YEAH!” by Sugarfrizz

Middle photo: “Leisurely Jaywalking” by Rocksee

Bottom photo: “Jaywalking” by Edu Alarcon

Facebook Offenders: The Dirty Dozen

1. The Non-responder. Do you ignore people who speak to you face to face? You don’t, because doing so would be rude, right? It’s rude online too. While it’s true that electronic communication is less immediate than, and by nature different from face-to-face conversation, simple logic and basic manners dictate that if someone takes the time to comment on something you’ve said, to ask you a question, or to give you a compliment, the proper response is at least….a response.

2. The Downer. Go to your Facebook wall. Arrange your page settings so that only your own posts are visible. Read through them and notice whether there’s a general theme/trend of negativity. Because while you may not have noticed that you spend 90% of your time on Facebook being negative, trust me, your Facebook friends have noticed. No one likes a party pooper. And besides chronic negativity and constant complaining being tiresome, there simply comes a point when friends and relatives don’t know what to say anymore to make you feel better about yourself. If you’re having a bad day or a bad week, by all means, let your friends know and we’ll be more than happy to give you loads of virtual hugs and kisses. But if you’ve been having a bad day every day for the last 9 months, it’s probably time to seek counseling.

3. The Put-downer. This is the Facebook friend who makes left-handed compliments and negative statements meant to cut you down to size. Example: you announce on Facebook that you’re having dinner at your favorite restaurant. The Put-downer replies with “I can’t stand that place; the food is awful.” Not only are the Put-downer’s responses annoying, but they also effectively put an end to pleasant conversation that could have come afterwards. No one likes to jump into a negative, awkward discussion.

An example of bad Facebook etiquette

4. The Fighter. This is the Facebook friend who loves to make an argument out of everything. While s/he may have never met your other friends and relatives before, s/he will argue violently with them on Facebook over statements you make about sports, politics, health, or completely banal topics. Usually, when you meet up with your normal friends and relatives in person afterwards, they’ll ask you, “Who the hell is that woman on Facebook who was arguing about politics, and why are you friends with her?” Like the Put-downer, the Fighter turns Facebook posts into awkward messes.

5. The One-upper. You know the One-upper. When you announce on Facebook that you made it to Mount Kilimanjaro’s summit yesterday, the One-upper replies that she once climbed Everest. If only one-uppers realized how unappealing and obnoxious one-upmanship is… People who do this often think that they’re enhancing the discussion, but they’re not. The One-upper shares certain attributes with the next Facebook offender, the “All about me” commentator.

6. The “All about me” commentator. This is the Facebook friend who manages to turn all of your posts into posts about herself/himself. For instance, you tell your friends on Facebook that you’re excited about your upcoming vacation in South Africa. While your other Facebook friends make normal remarks like, “Have a safe trip!” and “have fun, you deserve it,” the “All about me” commentator replies with “Did I tell you about the time I went to South Africa and caught malaria and giardia at the same time? Talk about an adventure, I could tell you some STORIES!” The “All about me” commentator will probably follow up with a slew of details about his trip. Like the One-upper, this kind of Facebook friend believes that he is improving the discussion, but he is mistaken. When someone shares a personal experience, it’s not meant as an opportunity for someone to hijack the conversation to talk about himself. The “All about me” commentator finds it hard NOT to relate other people’s experiences back to himself/herself.

7. The Bait-Dangler. You know, the people who communicate in half-statements and half-truths to get other people interested in what they have to say, and then purposefully remain cryptic in their responses so that they can have an aura of mystery about them. These are usually people who enjoy drawing attention to themselves, but might not have any substance to offer their audience. The Bait-Dangler sometimes displays Non-responder behavior, and may not even bother replying to questions from their “audience.”
Example:
THE BAIT-DANGLER: “Some people need to get a life!”
TYPICAL FACEBOOK FRIENDS’ REPLIES: “What happened?” “Is everything okay?”
THE BAIT-DANGLER: “Sorry, I can’t discuss it with you.” or “Wouldn’t you like to know, Miss Nosy?!”
My question: If you can’t/won’t discuss it, why bring it up? Eyeroll.

An example of bait-dangling on Facebook

8. The Thunder Thief. This is the Facebook friend who announces other people’s big news before the people have done so themselves, thereby stealing their thunder. If you have friends who are pregnant, have just gotten engaged, have just eloped, have scored a dream job, etc and they haven’t announced it on Facebook, it’s not your business to do it for them. Let your friends make their big announcements on their own terms. In addition to milestone news, Thunder Thieves are often prone to revealing personal information about others that isn’t meant for the public. They may do it in the form of a tactless, irrelevant question on your status, like “Did your bounced check ever clear?” Like the Bait-Dangler, the Thunder Thief gets a thrill from having access to information that no one else has, be it a secret, gossip, or sensitive material. But while the Bait Dangler restricts access to this information, the Thunder Thief suffers from diarrhea of the mouth and mind, and can’t hold it in.

9. The Tell-all. Pretty self-explanatory–this is the Facebook friend who reveals too much in posts and comments. Like the Put-downer and the Fighter, the Tell-all often makes Facebook discussions awkward thanks to his tendency towards over-sharing.
Example:
YOUR POST: “7 hours of labor–totally worth it in the end. I’m now the proud mommy of a healthy baby boy!”
THE TELL-ALL: “My 13 hours of labor gave me the worst hemorrhoids ever. Let’s just say the toilet and I were NOT on good terms that first month.”

10. The Tell-nothing. The opposite of the Tell-all, the Tell-nothing often posts in one-, two-, or three-word phrases that make sense to nobody. One sometimes wonders why this person joined Facebook.

An example of the Tell-nothing.

11. The Bombardier. This is the friend who never has anything simple and easy-going to say. While not necessarily always sullen like the Downer, the Bombardier is the Tell-all’s big brother, taking Tell-all’s TMI behavior to another level by using Facebook statuses to drop explosive, complicated content that never fails to leave his friends speechless and unable to respond. Example: “Well, it turns out my hip pain was nothing but good old prostate cancer. Have a great weekend, all!” or “Thanks for the herpes, Cancun!”

12. The Asshole. This one’s a bit of a cheat on my part because it’s so general and all-encompassing, but I couldn’t help putting it on the list. For whatever reason, many people have an Asshole on their friend list. The Asshole is usually guilty of a wide range of infractions–making inappropriate comments at inopportune times, being a perpetual smart-ass, being catty in all responses, ignoring friends’ commentaries, posting written and pictorial proof of unflattering behavior (the kind of written and pictorial proof that can change one’s lifelong opinion about said “friend” in 20 seconds flat), and/or having a generally surly and unpleasant disposition in all Facebook interactions. Why do we keep this Asshole on our friend list? Sometimes, we keep the Asshole around out of morbid curiosity, so that we can see more evidence of his foot-in-mouth disease, wondering all the while if he’s capable of being more appallingly foolish tomorrow than he was today. Sometimes we swear he/she is totally different in real life. But can one be the Asshole online, while being the Nice Guy in real life? Is it okay to overlook such behavior, or isn’t that just as bad as knowingly dating the “nice” guy who’s rude to the waiter? So complicated, this Facebook thing. On Facebook, a wide array of colors is made visible within each person on my friend list. Most often, that’s a great thing. Sometimes, it’s just too much color.

Many Offenders are featured in this response: the One-upper, the Put-downer, the "All about me" commentator, and the Asshole.

Yolaine -- "Tati Yole" to me --with students early in her career.

My aunt with students; 1972.

My aunt being a big-hearted but stern woman, there was a strong emphasis on detail and order on the school grounds–especially because at the school, she also ran a boarding house for students and children of all ages whose parents lived out of the country– but there was also an undeniable devotion to merriment for the little ones. When carnival came around each Lenten season, the students were there to celebrate the occasion in style, decked out in Jardin Fleuri shirts, festive headgear, carnival garb, and face paint. Before Christmas break, there was always a celebration. Graduation Day was always a big deal come June, students dressed in cap and gown, the children performing long-practiced dance routines and poetry readings, the works. All of these occasions remained a family affair at heart–any relatives visiting when such things were going on automatically became participants, and my grandparents, Erna (an educator herself) and Dantes (a busy attorney), were always on hand to give students their diplomas, to help emcee events, and simply to provide moral support.

Founding ceremony and blessing for the opening of the school; my grandparents in the center of the photo--grandmother on the left in the cat-eye glasses, grandfather on the right.

Opening ceremony and blessing

Students in costume for carnival festivities

A small part of the school's contingent getting ready for a street procession.

March 2, 1973; students and teachers march down Rue Capois during carnival

February 2, 1981; the school's float

Jardin Fleuri's students in the street for carnival

December 1974; the students out of uniform, getting ready for Christmas festivities

Jardin Fleuri's boarders at my aunt's former vacation house in Fermathe for a celebratory getaway weekend; summer 1972.

My grandmother doling out a diploma and a kiss.

My grandfather...see description from previous photo.

An afternoon at the school; the holiday season, 1996

Life at Jardin Fleuri continued much the same through the 90s and the 2000s. Needless to say, everything changed on January 12, 2010 with the earthquake. With that earthquake, 2010 has become a veritable Year Zero in Haiti. We used to discuss Papa Doc’s Haiti and Baby Doc’s Haiti, Aristide’s Haiti and post-Aristide Haiti. My cousin now speaks of life “avant Douze Janvier/apres Douze Janvier” (before January 12th/after January 12th). The school–a cement fortress, a friendly home base for many loved ones, and a decades-long fixture of Port-au-Prince–sustained terrible damage and was eventually razed to the ground.

For the very first time in my life, I saw my aunt, an indestructible woman who has seen and been through so much, display exhaustion and dejection. I felt a heavy sadness for my cousin Patricia who had launched her entire being–heart, mind, and soul–into this school for the last few years after my aunt had chosen to semi-retire. Jardin Fleuri had been Yolaine’s legacy, and Patricia had meant to leave her mark in it as well. Despite losing everything, true to form, neither my cousin nor aunt had a ‘woe is me’ moment, or if they did, they never voiced it aloud–they’re not complainers, even during the most dire of circumstances. There was never any doubt that the school would endure. There wasn’t even a question of how it would endure. The only question was “When?”

What was salvaged of the toys for the students is tucked away in a tent for safekeeping from the elements; my aunt sits back in a corner..

Some of the students at play these days. Tarp still hangs in plenty of spots.

The students first came back to class outdoors under propped-up plastic tarps, set up by my aunt and cousin on a nearby piece of undeveloped, tree-dotted land owned by my aunt. Next came class in tents, while they waited for UNICEF to build small modular units, which is where the students are now, better removed from the elements. Rebuilding is sure, but proceeds at a glacial pace due to a number of factors outside most people’s control: lack of resources, bureaucracy, and corruption, among others. And Haiti continues to move neither backwards nor forwards, but in its own direction, at its own speed, always in its own dimension, its people as tired yet brilliantly resilient as ever.

A part of Jardin Fleuri after the rubble was cleared away; Joel, one of the school grounds' longtime staff members flashes a smile. He was on the second floor of the school when the earthquake struck; he survived by jumping over the balcony ledge down into the center courtyard on the first floor; fortunately, he landed without any injuries.

*** Thanks to my cousin Patricia for sharing some of these pictures. ***

My husband isn’t a mind reader or a detective. Rather, he had the help of Akinator the Genius: a “twenty questions”-esque game application that can figure out the name of any character/figure you have in mind by asking a series of leading questions. Charmed, I downloaded it immediately onto my phone. When playing with Akinator the Genius (who is represented by an animated genie), you should answer his questions as accurately as possible so that he is not operating on a pile of misinformation. He makes it easy for you to do so: when he asks you something, you can respond yes, no, I don’t know, probably, and probably not. Interestingly enough, when I would play, there were times that I accidentally tapped the wrong answer and the Genie still arrived at the right answer. Smart one, that Akinator…He can correctly name a character from a novel, a television series, or film. He can name an actress who’s been dead for fifty years. He can name a real-life explorer or writer or game show host or TV presenter. Sometimes, he guesses incorrectly–if this happens, you can tell him he’s wrong, and he’ll keep asking questions until he gets it right.

Because the Genie is just as well versed in video game characters and recent pop culture as he is in Victorian literature and Classical music, kids get a kick out of this app. Unfortunately some of the questions aren’t kid-friendly. My siblings-in-law’s young children (ages 7 and 9) were instant devotees of the game, but it got a little weird when Akinator would ask something like ‘Is your character part of the Adult Sex Film industry?’ or ‘Is your character a porn actor?’

It’s addictive. You introduce the game to new people, just so you can see the wide-eyed looks on their faces when you start to home in on their thoughts. Classic. You start to think of more obscure figures, just to see if Akinator will come up with the right answer. I introduced the game to family during a recent visit to the Great White North. True to his claim that he can guess anyone you have in mind, Akinator figured out most of the characters my brother-in-law chose, from Wellesley and Sergeant Major Harper, to Jack Aubrey; he figured out my other brother-in-law’s Ronald McDonald, my sister-in-law’s Danny Zuko, all of my sister’s Dr. Who characters, and my younger cousin’s Kate Middleton, among many others (and I do mean many–this game can keep a group occupied for a long time). The Genie does get stumped sometimes, though. If he hasn’t figured out your character after asking you roughly 60 questions, he asks you to type the name of the figure you had in mind, and then promises to do better in the future, or he thanks you for introducing him to a new character. This happened a couple of times: he didn’t guess my brother-in-law’s late Canadian Prime Minister Lester Pearson, or a nephew’s particular wrestler (although my nearly-8-year-old nephew earnestly confessed the following to me soon after: “Aunt Lise, the Akinator never would have gotten that wrestler because it’s waaaay too hard to guess who he is, but he guessed all of my Pokemon characters!”). He also couldn’t figure out my Soames Forsyte or my Frank Ashurst–he kept mistaking them for Mr. Darcy and Charles Ryder.

So the Akinator does err–how human of him. But the Akinator is also dead-on much of the time. Is he human, or is he divine? Neither–the Akinator is internet machine, and you would do well to remember that when you find yourself getting overly annoyed with him. One evening, my dear brother-in-law started getting frustrated when the Akinator failed to guess his thoughts; his frustration soon gave way to anger. His statement: “I just don’t understand why he isn’t figuring it out! What’s wrong with him?” His wife’s sobering response: “You’re arguing with an iPod.”

The Akinator app works over Wi-Fi and cellular network. It currently sells for $1.99 in the United States. A fun way to pass time, and probably an app you’d want your friend to bring along for a road trip.

Some Memorable Jingles of Yesteryear

Juicy Fruit. I can sing this song in its entirety. With an…appropriate…level of over-enthusiasm. Don’t judge me.

Big Red. Gum was clearly an obsession in North America for a while…

Zest Soap. I always wanted that giant towel. As for the very scientifically sound soap-scum-on-the-shower-door experiment in every Zest commercial, can’t say I ever conducted such trials in my own home…

Extra. See ‘Big Red’ description above.

Coast. Bar soap commercials had a way of working themselves into the mind. I often found myself smelling the bar and getting a stupid smile on my face, like all the showering folks in the Coast commercials. Again, don’t judge me…

The Clapper. An a capella jingle, but a note-worthy jingle nonetheless. Who didn’t know this one? I always lamented that I never had a clapper in my home, and today I often wish I had one when I feel too lazy to switch off a lamp.

Folgers. Those commercials made me want it, but Folgers wasn’t allowed in my house. My father was a strict Café Bustelo man who only prepared the family’s coffee in “the third-world coffee maker”– the nickname my sisters and I gave to our stovetop espresso maker– “third world coffee maker” being a misnomer, of course, because this type of coffee maker was invented in Italy…Still haven’t experienced “the best part of waking up,” but I remember the song.

GEO. G. E. O-whoa-whoa-whoa. My sisters and I used to sing that line. Over and over.

Frosted Flakes. “Show ‘em you’re a tiger, show ‘em what you can do…” Frosted Flakes commercials had a common theme– most of them featured an underdog needing to unleash the tiger within. The jingle is short, but effective.

My Buddy/Kid Sister. A catchy little tune. The jingle was undoubtedly the bane of many a parent’s existence, and the toy itself merely one more link in the long unbroken chain of children’s imaginary friends.

Coca-Cola. I don’t drink soda, but I’ve never forgotten this song. Obviously, Coke knew it had a winner with this tune and wanted its message engrained in people’s minds–it’s not often a product displays its jingle’s lyrics, karaoke-style, in its commercials. In my humble opinion, they’ve never had a stronger ad campaign.

Ohh, alright. I couldn’t resist. Here’s a little “Soul-Glo,” courtesy of Coming to America…

Did I miss any of your favorites? Please share!

My friend, behatted

Perhaps in order to pay homage to the high pressure all-nighters of my school days, I procrastinated with my headpiece assignment.  After hitting a few stores unsuccessfully, and feeling slightly panicked with less than 48 hours left until the shower, I texted my besties for advice on stores, materials, and styles. All responded immediately (because they are the greatest friends in the world) with ideas and reassurances. 24 hours before the party, I headed to Burlington Coat Factory where I found a slew of hats. Some reminded me too much of a church service. Some were too warm for outdoor Florida weather. Some looked nice hanging on the hat rack, but absolutely ridiculous on my head. I took a few different hats to a fitting room along with some dresses. After frantically changing in and out of ten different outfits and hearing pieces of bizarre conversations from fitting rooms next door, I went back to the hat rack, eyes fully peeled. My eye settled on a fun green one with a flower; I swear it hadn’t been there before. I grabbed it and ran back to the clothing racks and found a springtime-is-here halter dress covered in  a violet, blue, and green flowery pattern. I walked to the fitting room, confident that this combination would be the answer to my silent prayer.

Testing my outfit out before a mirror

Come Sunday, I arrived at the shower, turned off the car and sat there staring at the hat on the passenger seat, all at once in love with it, yet loathe to put it on. A few moments later, I walked onto a patio filled with behatted ladies, each one all the more lovely and unique thanks to those expressive accessories adorning their heads. There were all kinds–there were straw hats and fascinators, there were ones made of linen and of raffia, some had feathers galore. Each woman’s hat was a compliment to her personality and style. While all of us experienced certain obstacles when searching for and choosing our hats, we all agreed that we’d like to wear them more often. My friend’s shower was wonderful, and I won’t forget that I wore my first real hat for her.

A glowing bride-to-be, her aunt, and my lovely friend

Myself and the hostesses with the mostesses

More ladies, more hats

The bridal party

Thank you, dear Olivia, for sending me pictures #6, 7, and 11!

Richard holds a special place in my heart. I’ve always seen him standing at the hotel entrance, making people–myself included–smile whenever they walk through the doors. Besides being polite (a given for someone in his type of position), he has an honest smile, the kind that reaches the corners of the eyes. His sweetness and his pleasant sense of humor are unforgettable. On my wedding day a few years ago, once dressed, I sat in my hotel room with my mother and sister, and we heard a knock at the door. My mom answered, and I heard some happy commotion. She turned to me smiling and said, “Le bonhomme est la!” (The nice chap is here!) Richard was standing at my door, smiling and waiting; he had come to escort me from my room and help carry my train. The wedding planner hadn’t mentioned that he would be there, so I was genuinely surprised. He helped me in the hotel lobby with my dress for the pre-ceremony photographs, and then helped me into the car that would take my father and me over to the chapel. He conversed with me the entire time. I loved that he was there, and appreciated what he added to my day.

Richard helping me climb into the car

Richard holding my flowers while my dad and I smile for a quick shot.

On the last day of our recent vacation when we checked out, we waited for the valet to bring the car around. My husband reminded me, “He’s over there, go talk to him while we wait.” I noted that Richard was speaking to another hotel employee; I didn’t want to disturb them, but with a mixture of reluctance and nervous hope, decided to approach him anyway. He stopped his conversation, turned to me and smiled. I told him, “I got married here a few years ago, and you escorted me from my room to the lobby and I never forgot it, and just wanted to tell you that it was very special to me and made me so happy.” He immediately pulled me in for a tight hug, chatted with me for a while, happily obliged me by taking a couple of pictures, and basically had me smiling for the four-hour drive home.

I’ve often found myself ready to slip into shyness. I now have no doubts whatsoever that shyness is a useless quality that consistently manages to keep people from doing things that are good for them, and keeps them from interacting with others in a potentially meaningful way. The voices in your mind that babble nonsense like ‘he’s too busy,’ ‘he doesn’t care what you have to say,’ and ‘what would you say to him anyway’–they are naysayers, masking themselves less threateningly as that which we call “shyness.” They should be categorically carted off to a rocky island where they can ponder and atone for their ruinous behavior. It’s always worthwhile to tell someone that he or she is doing a good job. It’s always worthwhile to tell someone that he or she has made you happy in some way. Never let the naysayers tell you otherwise.

Richard, the Grand Floridian's hotel greeter, and I on my last day of vacation

**Wedding photography by Christopher Patrick Photography