On driving…
It’s not a figment of the imagination—drivers really have gotten worse over the years. Of course, the sheer number of drivers on the road these days has drastically increased over the last half-century, so bad vehicular behavior is bound to rear its ugly head quite often.
But while bad driving exists everywhere, it’s reached special heights in South Florida. Down here, the extent of personal interpretation of traffic law knows no bounds. And not only do we have our own badass American drivers, we also happily host badass drivers from all over the hemisphere who bring their own sense of surprise and adventure to I-95 and our local roads every day.
I decided to hammer out my own little list that can help you identify…
Ten Traffic Occurrences That Let You Know You’re on a South Florida Road:
1 – The driver in front of you sees that bright yellow ‘Yield’ sign, but to him, it’s just a way to bring in a nice sunny shade of yellow to an otherwise bland gray and black street, so he ignores it.
2 – The driver next to you is drifting into your lane. You take a look into the car to see who would dare do such a thing and realize that she’s drifting into your lane because she’s texting.
3 – You’re in the left lane and need to move over into the right lane. So you turn on your Right signal. As soon as you do this, the driver behind you at the 5:00 angle speeds up to make sure it’s impossible for you to move over.
4 – The driver across from you at the 4-way stop slows down and drives through the stop sign at 25-30 miles per hour because those red signs are actually just a formality letting drivers know that they ought to slow down.
5 – You’ve got a migraine, but the driver next to you wants to help you take your mind off it. So he turns the volume way up on his subwoofer. He figures the bass will rattle your car enough to soothingly vibrate your body. Screw the melody, the rest of the instrumentation, the lyrics and the voice—you only like that song cuz of the bass anyway.
6 – Watch the lady on your left at the next intersection; she’s worried about taking her turn too sharply, so before she turns left, she’s going to swing out to the right. Yes, right into your lane.
7 – You’re on a major road, and there’s a driver in front of you who’s going to be making a right turn. She’s going to decelerate to roughly, oh, zero miles per hour first, hence making a full stop on this busy street. If you pass her by on the left and turn towards her, you’ll see that she’s just one of our many 108-year-old Floridians who still manage to get their drivers licenses renewed every year!
8 – Move over to the right to avoid driving over that dead rooster in the middle of the road. This is very, very, very much a South Florida/Caribbean thing. Google, and you’ll understand.
9 – You’re trying to exit a parking lot, and there’s a beat-up two-door Honda Civic just next to you blocking your view. I know, I know—it’s totally annoying that you can’t see through the tinted-completely-black windows of that old car, but just think how exciting—it could be Johnny Depp or Lady Gaga right next to you! After all, only high profile celebrities tint their windows that dark!
10 – Yes, those two cars on the road in front of you are maneuvering rather erratically. Why, you ask? Butt out and give them their space—those drivers are old friends who haven’t seen each other in over a year, and they’re catching up on old times.
Got some more of your own to add to this list? Please feel free to comment below!
Kristina
March 11, 2010Driving is one thing but what have you got to say about parking and parking lots! I’ve seen a couple of pictures from your camera phone of the above mentioned drivers and their talents at stopping their cars to know you and I share some views on this topic! I’d love to hear your thoughts on this!
sunnyglobaldiva
March 11, 2010Hahaha, you’re right–I may have to put that picture of those parked cars on this post! Honestly, I’m often left wondering…did these people read the same driving manual that I did? Were they awake during class? I definitely think you can tell a lot about a person by their car behavior–I worry this means that there are a whole lotta people out there with not much common sense, lol.
MIke S
March 11, 2010Great blog… The drives down here really do stink. Last Wed on my way home from Miami, a guy cut me off, I pulled up on the side of him and let him know how happy i was with him… So he takes out a stick, speeds up, gets next to me… and tries to hit my F-250…. Idiot… Like i care if i have another dent in that truck…
sunnyglobaldiva
March 11, 2010Jeez, took out a stick–anger management issues much?! You really never know what someone’s gonna do…
Elena
March 19, 2010Which is why, Mike, that you should not have told him anything! You really don’t ever know what one of these crazies is gonna do. You are lucky it was a stick! My brother does this all the time too, and you really have to be crazy with these Miami drivers!
Ale
March 19, 2010My husband used to throw eggs!
Val
March 20, 2010ha ha ha Ale!! I can picture Bernie throwing eggs! 😀