If you have a blog, then you know you’ve got spam. Bucketloads upon bucketloads of spam. Spam marketers try to leave comments on different blog posts in order to advertise their scummy websites to your readers, hoping that said readers will click over. What the spam comments have in common is unspecific wording, being that the comments have nothing to do with the blog posts, and being that the spammers haven’t actually read the blog posts on which they comment. The spammers also make a vain attempt at warmth and colloquial English. Fortunately, the filter smells the scheme from afar and manages to net all of them. Some of these comments have really great wording (and by “great” I mean “awful”). I’ve taken the liberty of copying and pasting some of them below for your reading enjoyment. Just a note: this post is not meant to make fun of or deride the average person who speaks English as a second, third or fourth language. As the daughter of two immigrants who speak good albeit very heavily accented English, I have no hostility whatsoever towards people who have a weaker grasp of the language. But these spammers are predators who hide behind monikers and questionable websites, so I consider them fair game. And a word to spammers–go ahead and keep on drinking whatever strong wine is leading you to believe I’ll actually approve your comments on my website.

Appreciate it for give pretty beneficial informations. Your web site is greatI am impressed by the data that you’ve on this blog. It shows how properly you realize this topic. Bookmarked this particular page, will arrive back again for additional. You, my friend, amazing! I discovered just the specifics I previously looked in all places and just could not uncover. What a ideal internet site. Similar to this internet site your site is one of my new preferred.I similar to this info proven and it has offered me some sort of ideas to possess achievement for some cause, so maintain up the beneficial operate!” (Left by someone affiliated with some shady-looking insurance website.)

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As the saying goes, “sharing is caring”. I genuinely like the way you write this article and thanks for sharing this piece of data! It saves my day in some methods.” (Left by someone named ‘Instant Weight Loss’)

Can I give your website an overall comment? I like the content of your page, very a lot! Because they are rich and informative. However, I believe this internet site would definitely look much better in the event you change to a far better theme. Just my 2 cents.” (This comment left by someone who calls himself ‘Improve My Sex Life’)

Hi , was just walking through the internet looking for some information and came across your site. I am fascinated by the info that you have on this site. It shows how well you understand this subject. I bookmrked this blog post, will come back for more. You, my friend, ROCK!!!” (The “You, my friend, ROCK!!!” part is my favorite. I also like the bit about “walking through the internet.”)

Why have you removed my post? It was very beneficial information and i guarantee atleast one person found it helpful unlike the rest of the comments on this web site. I’ll post it again.” (And I’ll delete it again.)

Faith is to believe what you do not yet see; the reward for this faith is to see what you believe. -St. Augustine” (Spam with a little holy water sprinkled on it. Nice touch, having St. Augustine speak for your “travel agency.”)

And last, but not least….

Dude I determined you on Facebook and I just yearned-for to say terrific webpage!”

***Photo Credit: “Spam Pizza” by cookipediachef