When the kids malfunction…

Why did you make me play second base?”

The quote above is from the 1989 film ‘Parenthood,’ directed by Ron Howard. ‘Why did you make me play second base?!’ is what young boy Kevin cries out to his father Gil (played by the masterful Steve Martin) after he causes his baseball team to lose the game. Gil, a staunch fan of America’s favorite pasttime puts his unskilled boy in the position of second base and Kevin plays rather badly, causing an embarrassing loss for his teammates.

I was at Chuck E. Cheese recently, watching a toddler relative ball her eyes out in horror as she saw the live Chuck E. in front of her for the first time ever.

Relatives at Chuck E. Cheese. Supposed to be every child's favorite place...

It got me thinking about how often adults put children in situations that the children themselves hate. And we just don’t seem to get it. We assume they’ll love it. Or we feel like said situation is a milestone, and we have to snap a picture of it for posterity.

Ohh, so the tears and the frown mean he's NOT thrilled to be in the Easter parade...
My husband (in green), not behaving according to plan.

When I was at the mall once years ago, I walked into the Disney store and saw an awesome Incredibles-themed Halloween costume. My nephew was a baby at the time but I bought the costume anyway for next Halloween. It hung in his closet patiently. I waited impatiently for next Halloween to come, knowing he would be so unbelievably excited about wearing that costume. Boy was I disappointed. He hated the damn thing. In fact, he cried miserably the whole time that he had it on. Cried miserably until we took it off him and dressed him in his—get this—Incredibles pajamas. So he wore Pjs for his first trick-or-treating, and was as happy as a boy could be.

Mr. Incredible...feeling not so incredible.

Why do so many of us psych ourselves out about these perceived milestones in kids’ lives? Many of us react with sadness, disappointment or even anger when the kids don’t react how they’re “supposed to.” I’ve been guilty on a few occasions of building up of emotion and excitement before an event—imagining the expression on my beloved nephew’s little face the first time he enters the gates at Disney World, imagining how he’ll react when I take him trick-or-treating for the first time, imagining his reaction when I introduce him to larger-than-life Mickey for the first time at the Magic Kingdom. I’m now convinced that my nephew (and most kids for that matter) can sense it and reacts with anti-excitement just to show me who’s boss. Rightly so too—I’m not master of his emotions, nor will I ever be.

You may think he's about to take a math test, but it's actually his 6th birthday. He never smiled once during the Chuck E. show. Or when we sang happy birthday. Or when we cut the cake.
One of my husband's earliest memories: trying to move AWAY from Donald Duck.

So in this post, I’ve including some pictures of these milestones-gone-awry. There are teary faces. There are eyes squeezed shut and mouths wide open, and you can hear the screams coming out of the photographs. These pictures make me laugh really hard and there’s something I admire about those upset faces, whose defiant expressions read, ‘nope, I don’t like it and I’m not gonna like it, no matter what you say.’ Kiddie protest, if you will; the precursor to armed struggle.

Hope these tears bring a smile to your face!

My all-time fave. Crying at the park. Love it.

Your children are not your children.

They are the sons and daughters of Life’s longing for itself.

They come through you but not from you,

And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.

You may give them your love but not your thoughts,

For they have their own thoughts.

You may house their bodies but not their souls,

For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow,

which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.

You may strive to be like them,

but seek not to make them like you.

For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.

You are the bows from which your children

as living arrows are sent forth.

The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite,

and He bends you with His might

that His arrows may go swift and far.

Let your bending in the archer’s hand be for gladness;

For even as He loves the arrow that flies,

so He loves also the bow that is stable.”

– Kahlil Gibran

No Comment

  • Ale

    March 31, 2010

    I don’t care if she doesn’t like Disney World. When Dani turns three we are going, oh and there will be picture taking. So THERE. HA!

    Reply
    • sunnyglobaldiva

      March 31, 2010

      You tell ’em Ale!! LOL

      Reply
  • I’m trying to figure out where this pic was taken but can’t make the photo larger. At first though the pic was of Maxim……
    Is this the Golden Sands motel?

    Reply
  • You can see it larger in her blog post. It’s either Golden Sands or somewhere in Florida??

    Reply
  • the link didn’t work. I seem to remember the golden sands had those fake deer.

    Reply
  • Olive

    April 5, 2010

    Let me tell you how none of that s*** with tantrums flew with my folks….the line was basically ” suck it up”!!!!Heaven forbid if we ever embarrassed my parents in public…I wouldn’t be typing to you today!

    Reply
  • sunnyglobaldiva

    April 5, 2010

    Woohoo, same here Olive! That did NOT fly in my house!

    Reply
  • Elena

    April 5, 2010

    I think that’s why we all have these pictures… because our parents made us suck it up and deal with it.. My niece however, does not have any of these pictures 😉 Good for you Ale for keeping it old school.

    Reply
  • Veronica

    April 6, 2010

    I have to ask is that really Val in the pictures!! He was soo cute!! I dont think parents should force to do things they dont want to do. HOWEVER, you need to try it at least once! I dont care if you dont like it, you have to do it once. If you dont like then I wont force you to do it again. I agree Ale, even if Mickey scares the crap out of her, we need a picture!!!

    Reply
    • sunnyglobaldiva

      April 6, 2010

      It is really Val! He was an adorable baby!

      And I think even adults should have your mindset of “at least try it once.” I’ll try to be more that way too! 😉

      Reply
  • Olive

    April 6, 2010

    ok Val was a cute kid, but what the hell is he riding in the last picture, a footless, earless horse demon? that sh** would scare anyone! super creepy val, ur parents were just cruel and enjoyed making you cry in pics!!! hehe

    Reply
    • sunnyglobaldiva

      April 7, 2010

      LMAO, according to Val it’s a deer or something…I’m not entirely convinced. And it probably looked like a horse demon to him at that age! LOL

      Reply
  • Elena

    April 7, 2010

    lmao at the horse demon..

    Reply
  • Val

    April 7, 2010

    hahaha… I didn’t notice it was missing its ears. It was the 70s (or early 80s), a simpler time when safety wasn’t a concern. 😉

    Reply

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